Jessica Bowser Nelson Fitness

It goes:

How TRUE is that in our own lives? Whenever someone says something that ticks us off, or hurts our feelings, or really hits us hard, when they’re insulting us, we grasp onto it and never let it go.

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I know in my own life, it can be hours later and in my head I’m still thinking about how upset I am about this ONE insult. But then if I got 1000 compliments right after, how quick are we to just blow off a compliment? The compliments are just in one ear out the other. But the insults, stick onto us and stay with us forever.

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A couple years ago when I was a young girl around 10 years old, we used to go to the beach on Tuesdays. And I remember Tuesdays, because I loved going to the beach, but even more so, I LOVED it because on the way home we got to go to Dairy Queen. I was always allowed to get a dilly bar. I didn’t even know what that was, I just knew I was allowed to have it and I was excited about it! It was a little less expensive than a Blizzard. That was my first choice. Ha! So, Tuesdays was beach day, dilly bar and, at night, it was Christian night at the roller skating rink. So Tuesdays were just a super fun day in my life that I always remembered and I treasured.

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One day, my second cousins were in town visiting and they went to the beach with us. I remember getting a little older and my body was changing. I was always a little bit thicker. I wouldn’t say I was really overweight or struggling with that. I just wasn’t thin. I have always had a tendency to just be a little bulkier and rounder in certain areas. 🙂 It was at that time….do you remember those bathing suits that were like a one piece but then they cut a circle out of the middle…so like a hole in the middle. So it’s not quite a two piece. I was very modest so it was a BIG DEAL that I was wearing a bathing suit with a hole cut out of the middle.

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I was a little self conscious, I remember, even at that young age but I was still excited to be growing up and getting to wear this bathing suit. I remember playing in the sand in ear shot of my grandmother. She turned to the person next to her and said, “Why is Jessica bigger than her cousins?” Or why is she fatter….whatever she said, it was in reference to my weight and it was comparing me to my two cousins. And I WAS bigger than my cousins..

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But what’s crazy is YEARS LATER, I remember that moment.

It stuck with me since I was 10 years old.

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How many times do we do that in life? We take this one thing–this one BAD thing–and we take it with us and carry it and protect it. We want to hold onto it. THEN it makes us bitter and angry and resentful, INSTEAD of just letting it go. In my case, my grandmother said many nice things to me over the years, but that’s not what I remember. That’s not what I can recall immediately…where we were sitting and what she said.

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I just want to know, in your own life, what are those phrases? Can you now just release them and let them go?

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Also, though, think, what have I said to people? What did I say when I was having a bad day? Or maybe I took something out on my husband? What if THAT’S the one thing from me that they’re taking with them? That’s not what I want to be remembered for.  That’s why it’s so important to guard your words and think before you speak and realize there are ramifications in our lives for the words that we say.

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1. Embrace the compliments. Find the good and hold onto THAT and release the bad. Don’t carry it with you. Don’t dwell on it. Just empty it out of your brain. Because it’s going to try to stay there.

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As humans, we’re programmed to find the negative and

hug it,

embrace it and

rock it to bed.

Find the good.

Hug THAT.

Embrace THAT.

Share THAT.

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2. Watch your words. You DON’T want to be remembered for that one insult.

Take the equation

and let’s change it.

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Instead, make it:

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Go out into life without the burden of the hurt and the pain and the resentment from the one thing the person probably didn’t mean….and even if they did, there’s so much more good out there instead.

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If you’re watching this today, I just want to encourage you, before you finish this video, think of a person in your life that you might have said something that could’ve potentially harmed them and go give them a compliment. Give them something good that could hopefully brighten up their day and diminish the power of the negative words that you might have used in the past. Once you do that, I would love to hear about it.

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First, I’d love to know that you watched this video.

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And second, I want to know that maybe it’s making a difference in your life. Too many times, it’s the negative that stays so we have to be intentional about bringing the positive and bringing the compliments and the love to people around us and making them feel special and worthwhile.

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So, go do your homework. Check in below and I will see you next week!