My Journey to Insanity Max 30
The final audition (To see more about the audition journey, go here. And to be the first to get info on Insanity Max 30‘s release, go here.) was brutal. It was INSANE (as it should be, right?). As far as I was concerned, I was in that room alone. Me and my mind. I had trained for this moment. I’m not talking physically, although I was in great shape. But, I’m referring to mentally. I had spent A LOT of time with Shaun T over the past few years…thru much heartache, turbulent times, positive change and growth. He had shown me what I was capable of (thru my DVD player) and all of that had somehow brought me to this moment. I had hopped on a plane and was in the final round of Insanity Max 30 auditions. It’s amazing what can go thru your head at that time. But, I KNEW that I was giving my best. And no matter what the outcome, THAT was enough. In your own life, if you embrace this concept to just do your absolute best, to give more than you did yesterday, it can be a game changer.
Shaun T was holding a stack of papers calling off each person’s name that would be in the cast of Insanity Max 30. My mind kept wandering. “Was I really in that room?” “If I pinched myself right now, would people see me do it?” “Is this a dream? Have I imagined it all? Am I about to wake up?” “Why am I wearing this headband right now? It makes me look like Rambo.” “I FEEL like I’m going to be picked, but if I don’t PUHLEASE don’t break into the ugly cry, Jessica. Just don’t.” “What if I get picked and then I can’t DO it! His workouts are CRAZY!” “I hope they liked me. I really hope they liked me! Why do I feel like I’m back in high school?” “I should’ve jumped higher. I SHOULD’VE jumped higher!” He was standing in front of a mirror calling out the names slowly. Then it happened…I saw my photo on the paper in the mirror before he said my name. It was a true slow motion, Matrix moment. My hard work, my dreams, my journey, culminated in THAT single moment of time. In my head I let out a slow motion, deep, body shaking yell! Outwardly, I smiled. 🙂 “Jessica Nelson.” I was in.
The Journey Continues
Over the next few weeks, I packed up, moved to NYC, found an apartment on airbnb.com (super awesome website..by the way), and began my adventure. Thankfully my job as a Beachbody coach allowed me to be flexible and able to do this. It was as if the stars had aligned..God had literally paved the way for me. It all happened so fast. There I was alone in an apartment in Manhattan. I paused. Again. Was this real? What now? I couldn’t tell anyone I was there as it was SUPER confidential to protect the integrity of the program. I had to figure out cabs and subways and grocery stores and where to buy ice (4 stores later) and how to get to my rehearsals and how to survive without my husband or family and how to keep things a secret (as my life is pretty public on facebook..ha!). It was equally overwhelming and exciting. I developed a routine, as I’m a routine girl! Are you? At home I wake up at the same time, drink water out of the same cup, do things in the same order. Ha! So I established one in NYC. I decided to walk to rehearsals everyday as I learned after one cab ride that I could’ve gotten there faster on foot. Those 30 minutes were my lifeline. I would listen to my favorite music, pray, reflect, think, video myself. I wanted to take in every single moment with appreciation and gratitude. I knew I had put in the work to be there, but I was perpetually in awe. It all felt surreal. It was cold some days, rainy, gross, but all part of the adventure. I was the tan Florida girl bouncing down 5th Avenue with my bright pink jacket. I didn’t care. I was living my dream. There were DEFINITELY hard days. You will learn when you start this program with me that it is called Insanity MAX 30 for a reason. The point is for you to push yourself to your MAX. This can change a person. It did me. All this time, I thought I was putting in my best effort..in my workouts, in life (because it translates. The more you give your workouts, the more you will realize you can give life situations). With Insanity Max 30, I learned I have more. But, to come to this realization, you first must be broken down. Think of one of your proudest moments in your life…a defining moment. Got it? Odds are it involved some kind of devastation or breaking or rock bottom, FIRST. When you overcome something difficult or seemingly impossible, that is when you experience true victory. This workout will do that for you. You will find out what you are truly made of if you surrender yourself to the process. It will be hard. It will be challenging. The evil voices in your head and the demon on your shoulder will tell you to quit, but YOU have the choice. You can choose to overcome. Will you?
It All Started with a Popsicle Stick
It was time to shoot the DVDS! Being on set was amazing. There were cameras everywhere, huge lights, big time producers, a huge production crew, a snack table (hey…I love food), makeshift wardrobe areas, it was the REAL DEAL. The CEO of Beachbody, Carl Daikeler, was even there. There was a buzz of energy that you could FEEL. You know that feeling as you go up the hill on a rollercoaster and it’s clicking…click, click, click. With each click, you aren’t sure if you are getting more excited or if you are going to throwup. That was me. Ha! After the final shoot, we all gathered around and shared how Shaun T had impacted our lives. It was a priceless moment full of tears, hugs, laughs and realizations that this OBVIOUSLY had the capacity to be far more than just another workout program. For me, it started with a popsicle stick. Four years ago my life was crumbling. My marriage was disintegrating and as I was losing control of my marriage, I was losing me. Shaun T brought me back to life. I made a mini Shaun T on a popsicle stick that I carried around (and still do). It was half as a joke and half as a reminder of what I was capable of. And to think, I was standing there with him now recounting it all. What a journey it’s been, but here’s the thing. It doesn’t end. There is no destination. Life will always have its ups and downs. We will always need that reminder. The popsicle stick lives on. I KNOW I am capable of more than I was yesterday. I will push. I will strive. I will win. Will you? IT’S TIME TO MAX OUT! P.S. Be the first to get info on the release of Insanity Max 30 by going here. P.S.S. To see my husband’s journey in the test group, go here.Digging Deeper, Jessica Bowser Nelson